It has been a month and...

I'm slightly disappointed in myself. I feel like I am losing motivation and it  is time to REBOOT! I'm headed to a few stores today. Part of my problem last week was that I didn't have the right snacks and I'm getting lazy with my diet. I need to calculate every calorie that is going in and get back to more whole foods. I have been relying on processed diet food again too much to make me feel like i'm splurging. This week i'm going to not use my flex points it is my punishment for not losing. Today I was up 0.2 pounds. I wanted to tell myself that it was just muscle replacing fat but if i'm being good on my diet I should still be losing at least a pound a week no matter what exercise I am doing. Last week I only worked out 3 days. but I can't be disappointed there because I started running again and one day I worked out for 2.5 hours and was sick on saturday. This week I will be doing at least four but I would like 5 or 6. Mon wed and fri I plan to jog tues and thurs P90X and hopefully get some swimming and yoga in throughout. anytime I have free time I need to be moving.
I am really proud of myself with running. I went twice last week and started this morning with a run by myself. I don't want to rely on anyone to get me out the door. The first day of running I went with a friend and maybe ran 15 total. The next run I ran 20 straight and this morning I ran 25 straight.
Goals for the week- lose 2 pounds. Calculate every calorie aside from fruit and veggies. Keep track of my water. Work out 4-6. move when I can. And be happy and enthusiastic about my changes. I need to break my addiction with food. It is not something that should control me. Nothing should control my mood or satisfaction but myself. Welcome week 5!

start of week 4

Monday morning I was down .4 pounds. Not even a pound. Slightly discouraging but it made me realize how important it is to make sure my calories are right on for the week. I'm going to try and save my splurge calories for the end of the week and see if I can maybe go without some of them.
Haven't worked out yet. I will probably to yoga tonight and run in the morning. My first run in over probably a year in a half. I'm a little nervous. I need to get a playlist in order. that is what keeps me going.
Started taking slim n sassy in my water once a day yesterday. It is a doTERRA essential oil, just add a drop to water. It is supposed to help with cravings and snacking. I don't know if it is helping yet. I did not snack as much today but I still had trouble with calories, I snacked before meals. I need to keep meals and snacking seperate.

Rest of the week

Worked out 4 times but only on 3 days. One day I did yoga and then later ran in the pool for about 20 mins. Saturday I swam laps for the first time in years, I hope to do that more often bc it is such a good workout. I went over on calories today and saturday and I'm so bummed about it. Next week I hope to save most of my flex cals until the weekend. This week running starts. Can't wait for tomorrows weigh in. I hope my weakness from the end of the week doesnt show up. Starting a new week, a stronger better week tomorrow.

today

I went to dinner today and had a hard time but as long as I just figure all the calories and figure them out with flex points I will be fine. Friday we are going to a movie so I have to make sure and be really good that day. Rob wants innout and I want popcorn. I'll probably get a burger with mustard instead of special sauce or get it protein style, wrapped in lettuce. And I won't be loading my popcorn with so much butter. that is one of my favorite treats. I think that will be my one soda day too so I need to make sure and drink extra water. I've heard that to get all the crap out of your body that is in a soda you have to drink twice your amount of your daily water, I don't know how accurate that is but what can it hurt to try.
Yesterday I was thinking of more long term goals and I got really discouraged, how I used to get on my old diets. it was the first time I had felt that way since starting this Revolution. I stopped thinking about it and i'm going to just focus on the next 10 pounds for right now. So excited to be the smallest I have ever been in my adult life. It will come so soon and that will be something for me to feel so proud of.

Weigh in and week 3 Staying strong and simple task movement

I weighed in yesterday morning... 173.8. DOWN! I'm getting there. I have less than 10 pounds now to reach my short term goal. I did yoga 4 times last week. I skipped working out yesterday but I did good with calories. As long as I keep my calories in check I will lose... or win. :)  Working out is important to me but I'm not going to sweat it if I don't do it everyday. My goal is 4-6 times a week, so as long as I stick with my goal I can be happy. I know that if I just stick to the diet I will get to my weight goal, exercise is important to help me get the tone that I want. I got my WW calculator and it is making life so much easier. I don't have to write all of my cals down or try and remember them. It even helps me keep track of my water intake. Last night I had a really hard night. I was having a pms-y type of night and all I wanted to do was quit my diet for the night and "fix my feelings" I'm so happy I stayed strong. I would have felt way worse after indulging. I got some special K chips last night and snacked on those. Almost 30 of them are only 2 points. I love finding stuff like that.
I felt stronger today in yoga, just one week and I'm already noticing strength. It was still really really hard. I was shaking like crazy through planks but I finished. Feeling good and I know I will do this. I have tried so many times but this time I know it will happen I am more than determined, it is an obsession and i'm fine with that. I only have to obsess over it until it just becomes routine and second nature.
Something I started at the end of last week. I started moving more. I will eat everyonce in a while standing up. I will rock while i'm folding laundry. just standing walking and moving more. I hope little things will make all the difference.

Feeling lazy today but that doesn't mean that I can't control what is going in my mouth

I made it through my hard day. I ended it with a giant turkey burger, no mayo and extra mustard and I had enough point to indulge in some fried zucchini. I have done yoga 4 days this week and will hopefully finish this week with 5 days. Day 1 was a beast, I have never been so week, just sitting up properly on the floor through yoga has been a challenge bc of my lack of core. I push myself though, I know that all of this light yoga is going to do wonders for my core, flexibility, and balance.
 Every day I come up with more super yummy low cal foods. Today I came up with a spinach and artichoke dip with low cal cheese and greek yogurt and had it with sour dough toast.
I keep thinking that maybe I should come up with a number for a more long term goal but I am scared to. Everytime I come up with a big number is in intimidating. And since I have never been smaller than 164 in my adult life I don't know what weight will look good on me, or I guess what would make me feel comfortable and happy. Also if I go gaining a bunch of muscle I don't know what number will be right? So I will make it down to 164 and then probably set another short term goal of maybe another 15 pounds and go from there? Right now, 164 seems so close and I feel great about it. I know it will come soon. I'm staying strong.
Something that has been really hard, I want to have dessert after dinner but I usually end up with just a few points after dinner so lately I actually have been satisfying my craving with a V8 light or diet fruit drink and a banana, the juice satisfies my sweet tooth and bananas are just my favorite fruit, i usally have 2 a day. I think I will maybe try a banana and pudding with some light whip tonight. Smoothies have also saved me. I make so many different kinds I don't think I can get bored. Mango, orange, strawberry, pineapple, banana, blueberry in all different combos have been my fav. add a little agave or honey or oj.
Tonight I'm going to make mozzerella filled chicken meatballs and whole wheat spaghetti with my own sauce.
Still need to be better about water intake, but I have been writing down everything i'm eating and that helps my diet stay together. can't wait to get on the scale monday and see how I have done. That is all I have right now bc fitting in clothing changes probably won't happen for a couple more weeks.

Hard day but I will stay strong

I was just telling Rob last night how this diet has been so easy for me, that I want this so bad that it hasn't been hard... until today. I didn't get sleep last night and have been moody. When I am feeling like this, food sound so much better. I want it to solve my problems, it has been a comfort so long, when I'm feeling off, lonely or sad I just want to go grab a cheeseburger or a cheesy pizza. It's always something cheesy and carb loaded. I hate this feeling. I feel almost out of control because I can't have the food I want. That is why I got on here. I had to write about it, in hopes that it would give me some strength. If I do end up getting something I will be getting somthing within my daily calories. I know I can do this, even when it is so hard. Rob is going to be gone on a scout campout this weekend. that might be difficult for me too. Whenever he is gone it makes me feel sad and lonely and a little scared and nervous about being alone all night. I end up making myself "feel better" by getting a cheese pizza and oreos. I usually end up eating several pieces and the whole box of oreos. Not this time. I will be making a homemade pizza with lots of yummy veggies and on a wheat thin crust. As for the oreos, they will be missed but I know what an oreo tastes like, I don't need them. If I need a chocolate fix I can find a better alternative that is within my limits and is made with all natural ingredients. Half of the ingredients in oreos, have no clue what they are, or even how to say them, that can't be good for the body. I feel better already just thinking about my healthy choices and how strong I will be soon. I am going to go grab something healthy and chug some water.